what is love?

i'll tell you.
i got boyf rite now. well, um he's kind. cute <3, well very kind. i dont know how to describe about him but yes he is uberkind.
my senior (x). she is his ex. x still love my boyf. very much. well im not angry with her. its all up to her. so x tell me last night. wait i'll copy it "Dek udah ya jangan nuduh nuduh wira lagi napa? Aku nih yang ujung ujung nya di salahin mulu. dikatain mulu lagi yaAllah sabar banget deh, maaf ya :(" trs i replied "yaAllah kak maaf juga ya kak emg disalahin knp ka?" trs katanya "sabar yaAllah. iya sekar. Iya gitu deh dek katanya aku masih sayang sama dia coba terus bikin hub dia ancur coba. padahal kan engga, orang lagi diem toba2 disalahin yg aneh2.. sekarang gini aja yak dek, kalo kamu mau nyalahin+ngatain aku juga gapapa kok, ikhlas aku mah. aku emang pantes diginiin" i replied "ga gt kak. mending diselesainnya tuh baikbaik gt. ya kalo suka kan emang wajarlah. mau kakak suka sama ***a kek juga gaada yg ngelarang :)" trs kata nyaaaa "percuma diselesain baik baik ***A nya juga kayak gitu. bikin orang kesel mulu." trs i saiiiid "pikir positifnya aja. pasti ada maksudnya tanya baik baik aja heheh" trs kata x "males aku dek, kamu aja. tapi serius deh gapapa kok, aku sih rela rela deh. tau dia udh gasayang aku lg tapi kan caranya ga harus gini kan. mau dibawa santai tapi malah sedih coba" trs i said "yaudah entar aku coba ngmg sama dia ya kak" katanya "atur ajalah" terus.. i think think think so hard. why is this happening? we're just a kid. that dont know about all this. we're selfish. eh trs dia nyapa lagi "masih sama ***A dek?" i said "iyaa" trs "jangan bilang ***Anya tapi. dia jadian sama anak SMA katanya conta mati sama dia. abis itu sempet ngajak intan sumita balikan" gue sih santai aja gue jawab ""oh. siapa nama nya kak?" kamu gatau ya emang?" "ya enggaklah-_-" "kak ric**" "oooh" "pas liat intan kmrn hari sabtu, dia langsung ngajak balikan. tapi intan nolak terus. parah loh dek dia mainin perasaan kamu mulu" dalam hati gue bilang "im not that labil ya kak hihi"

nah and then. i think so hard. whats the problem? i didnt belive what kak X just siad to me. but... its all go around in my mind. oh fucking life whats happening? oh sheez. kay, IM NOT GONNA MESS UP HIS LIFE. i know he love me. i know. i really appreciate it, really. but i only love one memory. My MOM and my DAD. they got divorced(cerai? IYA). its sucks i know. i love em very much. I love every single thing they do. They treat me well. ohmg im crying rite now :'( i really do love em. seriously. but.. i cant take it. i dont want the word DIVORCED. i dont want it :''(. but this reality, i need no symphaty. oh God. please. I want you to treat me well. please dont be so jerk, pleaseee. oh fuck...

black: kak X
purple: me


x,
sekar.